The last six months of my life have been full of change, some terrifying, some magical and some eye opening. I’m ready to talk about the real shit in my life, because after all that’s why I started this Blog, yes beauty products and fashion are great fun but does it change anyone’s life NO! So here I am Becca Blogger stripping herself bare and giving you all an insight into the most thought evoking six months of my life!
Six months ago you might have looked at my life and thought, I had it all but the stark truth was I wasn’t happy at all. Did I do the thing many people are guilty of and convince myself I was happy “HELL YES!” Many of you will know I lost my Mum almost 7 years ago to the day, this had a massive effect on my body, decision making ability and my heart! I guess when I lost my Mum I kind of became scared of change because it was big and scary so keeping everything in my life the same meant I was safe! Throughout the last 7 years, I started to realise I wasn’t living I was merely existing, which even writing that breaks my heart because “life’s a FUCKING gift” it should be grabbed with both hands and lived like each day is your last!
June came and I made the decision to leave the man I had spent 10 years with and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, this wasn’t about him it was me who needed to learn to be alone, discover myself and what I really wanted out of LIFE! We sold our dream home, I moved back with my dad which for me was so hard I felt like a failure and doubted if I was doing the right thing. I slipped into a grey place, my anxiety peaked and looking back I would say I was depressed but tried really hard to hide it, my bed was my favourite place and people where the enemy. A few months passed and I was ready to find my own home, start a fresh and move forward with my plans. I bought my own house, got my keys decorated and moved in officially in November, its a real home and somewhere I feel safe which when living alone was my main priority. I always told myself I could never live alone and its mad but now I wonder how ill ever live with anyone again, funny how things change.
I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t be one of those people who get into a rebound relationship, after all the reason I left was to discover me and enjoy my own space, I’ve kept that promise and enjoyed dating with the intention of just meeting new people. This journey is very much still ongoing and its going to take time, patience and a whole lot more work from me, but I can honestly say I’m really happy and content and that’s the first time in 28 years I have been able to say that so that’s feels like Powerful place to stand and admire the world! I look forward to learning more about myself, really working hard on my blog and growing that into what I have always wanted it to be a place where people can share the scary shit they don’t want to face alone.
(To my readers)
If your sitting in a situation where your unhappy, scared and don’t know where the hell to turn, look inward you hold all the answers to your questions you just need to trust that wee voice in your head that’s begging you to be strong enough to change! Thank you for reading this blog post, its a rough one to share and I am not claiming my life’s perfect now because I don’t want perfect I want my own wee story and that’s exactly what I finally have. All my Love Becca Blogger x x x
The past 6 weeks have been a real journey, becoming a single lady (YES, I done the Beyoncé hand movement did you?) I have really taken my time to settle into this new chapter of my life and enjoy every twist and turn of the journey. I wake up everyday grateful for my strength, for my family, friends and you guys who support me in everything I do, and I think HOLY SHIT I am so bloody lucky! Keep reading to find out what I am doing to keep all vibes in my life good.
I have been working in the gym, which is a great place to build strength and most importantly channel all my energy in a positive way. The change I see is so much more than how I look its being able to hold my body weight, do a push up and hold my head high knowing I am bettering myself with each workout. Body confidence is something I am really working on, understanding that my body is amazing as it’s the home of my soul! Each day I take time out to sit on a matt on my bedroom floor looking in the mirror, accepting every curve, line and dimple.
At this moment in time my love is for me and me only, I am protecting my heart and allowing it the time it needs to heal. Its ok to love yourself, not having a significant other is fine, long as you’re looking after yourself and giving yourself plenty of TLC! Love doesn’t need to be given to someone else, its fine to have a pamper night to yourself a wee bath and some bubbles is my perfect self-care night. My love is also strong enough to tell people who are trying to come into my life that I am not there and happy working and loving on me!
I am taking every opportunity by the horns, I am trying to say YES to everything even things that scare me because that is where the best change comes from. Each day I wake grateful, hungry for positive about my future. This is the first time in 27 years my life has been all about me and if that’s selfish I make no apologies because it’s my time and I couldn’t feel stronger or mentally in a better place.
I just want to say Thank you to all of you, every like, every message every positive vibe you send to me is lifting me up and keeping me going. The things I have planned for the Blog are massive and ladies and gents you are going to love it! I am Happy, I am healthy, and I am Fucking Fabulous! (SAY IT OUT LOUD EVERYDAY !) All my love Becca Blogger x x x
I don’t have a wedding planned as I am a single lady, but Tilly’s cakes make me want to grab the first man I see and rush him down the isle just to have one of these stunning cakes, PS he can’t have any of the cake as its all for me! Maybe you have a wedding coming up and haven’t found someone you trust to make your cake well look no further than Natalie Hume of, Tilly Makes Cakes.
Whenever I agree to review food items on my blog, I always get my family in on the taste testing magic. Me, my sister and my niece sat down to four delicious flavours, each one creating its own little party in our mouths. Let’s talk about my favourite first, Passionfruit & white Chocolate, the perfect mix of soft sponge, creamy white chocolate and tangy Passionfruit. I could have eaten my weight in this cake, it wasn’t remotely sickly the flavours just complemented each other so well. From the packaging, to the taste its clear to see Natalie’s passion really is in her cakes.
My niece Darcy loved this cake, so much so she wouldn’t go to bed until we assured her we wouldn’t eat the rest of her piece. She loved the vibrant red colour and the sweet taste. I had never tried Red Velvet cake before, so this was a new one for me. I liked the lightness in the cake, the richness in the flavour and the way each bite left you wanting more!
Raspberry & White Chocolate
Classic cake flavour, the perfect amount of raspberry to white chocolate ratio, the sponge was so moist and soft. Yes!! I used the word moist and that shows how good these cakes where I used a word I hate using but it’s the only one to do these bad boys justice.
Elderflower, Lemon & poppy seed
Normally Lemon flavoured anything is it not my thing as I find it too bitter, Natalie has managed to prefer this recipe and to be honest even writing about it has my licking my lips and craving more. The refreshing taste of Lemon, the bite of poppy seed and the relaxing wave of Elderflower makes for a perfect treat to suit all taste buds.
I want to say a massive Thank you to Natalieof Tilly makes cakes for gifting these cakes to me and making my day a lot brighter, as always all opinions are my own and 100% honest. If you want to book this amazingly talented lady, then get you orders in fast as she is already booking for next year! All my Love Becca Blogger x x x
Tilly Makes Cakes Instagram = @tillymakescakes
For the next four weeks I am taking part in “The Biggest loser challenge” this is happening at the boxing I attend which is run by @mcguganchris, for me this is a massive motivator to kick start me on my way to a healthier lifestyle! I was weighted and measure on Tuesday 1/5/2018 after four weeks everyone who is taking part will have there losses calculated and their will be a winner! I thought I would Blog about my plans and hopefully answer some of the questions I have been getting on Instagram from all you lovely lot! I am so excited to take you on this journey and add it as another feature on the blog. I am always honest with you guys, so you will be hearing about the good and bad days. Please remember what I am doing this week may change next week as I listen very closely to my body!
(Me on Holiday, motivation for this year’s holiday)
Answers to the questions dropping into my DM’S are below!
Why am I trying to lose weight?
Simple, I am over weight, unhealthy and have a dreadful relationship with food! I struggle a lot with my weight, so much so that recently I have hated buying clothes because I am unhappy at this size!
Why are you training twice a day? “that’s really bad for you!!”
I train twice a day, because I am competing in a challenge, I want to work out as much as I can and eat a balanced diet. Training releases endorphins in the brain, which make me feel good for hours after a good gym session! I have never been a morning person, to get up and workout before work is something I always said I could never do! (Old me, LOOK AT ME GO NOW!)
What is my diet like?
This is the easiest question, it is healthy, balanced and cutting out all the crap my body is used to but really doesn’t need. If you guys want to see a what I eat in a day video let me know in the comments below? I am eating enough food to never be hungry and drinking enough water to fill a swimming pool (exaggeration, before I get negative feedback)
My main aims with my eating, is to continue cutting out crisps, chocolate and takeaways. I have set myself these goals for the first week to push myself!
What is making me determined ?
Boxing!!!! Its a class that you work hard at, people motivate me, this challenge is making me so excited! Working out with my sister also keeps me going, she pushes me harder than I push myself! All you guys sending me amazing, kind and supportive messages! Thank you all! The fact that I am aware carrying extra fat has such a negative effect of my body, so I am focussing on that!
My top tips to make the first week of change a little easier!
1. Get yourself some new gym gear Usa Pro is really affordable and wears well! I am also in love with @BootyFituk leggings, when you squat they DO NOT go see through!!!!
2. Drink plenty of water and get lots of sleep, this is so important and is really helping me!
3. Never miss a Monday, working out on a Monday sets you up for the whole week!
If you want a weekly update let me know in the comments below?
All my love Becca Blogger xxx
I want to share a very personal journey with you guys. This isn’t about sympathy or needing affirmation, I simply need to share this because I know many of you will be going through the same emotions. I am ready to share my story in the hope it can change your relationship with yourself and make you see how amazing you are. My journey to self-love is very much lifelong; it will never be something I find easy. Firstly, I am human; we all have bad days. Secondly, I have spent the last 27 years making myself believe I would never be good enough.
Let’s start at the beginning. As a child I was always told by everyone how beautiful I was, with my white blonde hair, unusual green eyes and how beautiful I would grow up to be. This, for me, was a lot of pressure even at a young age, “What if I didn’t turn out beautiful?”.
I enjoyed playing outside and was never a girly girl. Through my teenage years I was heavier than my friends and had a big bust, that as a tomboy I didn’t really appreciate. As a teenager I went through a tough time like most girls, trying to understand what the HELL was happening to my body and why I was so angry at the world. Some girls at high school called me Fat. I remember one girl for no reason calling me names. The problem is at that age, cruel words shape you because you are too naive to realise that those words are a problem with that girl and not you. I didn’t help myself by reinforcing these words to myself each day. The problem is if you say anything enough you, will start to believe it is true.
I didn’t realise until a few months ago when seeking help for anxiety, how detrimental these words had been on my mind, body and quality of life. As I sat with my counsellor, words I never even knew I felt flooded out. She took notes and at the end of the session showed me them. “I am ugly, people don’t like me & I am scared to be me”. I read it back inwardly. How dare she say these things. It took me hours to realise it was me who said these damaging words and it was me who had to do the work to change my whole relationship with myself.
Time For a change!
That night I went home, I sat staring at my face in the mirror wondering why I hated my looks so much and I had this thought of “what if I would always hate myself”. I googled tips to love yourself. In that moment I realised this wasn’t time for google to help me, I had to do this alone, I had to learn what would work for me. I woke up the next day feeling like I had been in an emotional car crash. I walked passed the mirror and my wonderful mind pointed out how fat my legs looked as I hurried passed the mirror to the bathroom. I had another few negative thoughts so I ran a bath stepped in and started to perform the pendulum technique to relax my mind and body. I had to still my mind for the change I knew was about to come. I took deep breaths as a negative thought came into my mind. I imagined it as a cloud gently floating away. As it did, with it went the bad thoughts. After my bath I stood looking in the mirror at my body, picking a part I loved. I said out loud “I love my shoulders”. Why did I choose these?! Because I had a deeper thought of what these shoulders have carried on them and never broken; losing my mother, helping raise my little sister. A smile crossed my face. I realised it’s not necessarily about loving your body because of how it looks, it can be as simple as an appreciation for what it has carried you through.
This post was very difficult for me to write. I hope it shows that it’s never too late for change. It has also made me realise that every month I want to share an update on how my mental health has been through the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Top tips for Self-Love:
1. Look in the mirror everyday & say “I am Beautiful, I am Smart, I am Important”
2. Treat Yourself: take yourself out for lunch & learn to enjoy your own company
3. Never allow other people’s negative words to change your views on yourself.
4. Trust in your journey: understand there will be days its hard to love yourself, we all have bad days.
All my Love Becca Blogger xxx
So, Mother’s Day is fast approaching. This time of year can be hard for me, with my mum having passed away. However, I always like to spoil the special ladies in my life and let them know how important they are to me. So, this year I have teamed up with B & M to treat my Grandmother to some special items from the Mother’s Day collection. It was a pleasure to choose from this range as everything was very sweet and had a real feel of spring, which I love. So, if you want some Mother’s Day inspiration, continue reading this post and check out the items at B & M stores.
I picked up a Mother & Little Chick mug duo. I love this as I think for anyone buying for thier little one to give to their Mum, then this is very cute and thoughtful. I also chose two beautiful candles from the range, as my Gran loves candles and these are very pretty and most importantly, the smell is subtle and not overpowering. My favourite items are the two mugs which read “I’m so lucky to have you”. All of these items cost only £15.05.
Mother’s Day is all about showing the ladies we love in our life, how much we care. B & M has hit the nail on the head with this range. The range is affordable, dainty and very personal. So, if you haven’t yet got that special someone a gift for the special day, head to B & M and get something any lady would be proud to own. All my Love Becca Blogger. x x x
I was kindly sent vouchers to purchase these items, however, all views are my own and all items were chosen by me.